(fubu/tubi/Vudu) Following in the footsteps of MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN was this gonzo satire of soap operas created by Susan Harris (an already established writer from LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE, and who would go one to create THE GOLDEN GIRLS). Difference was, this was explicitly comedic, and weekly. The cast was stacked: Katherine Helmond, Richard Mulligan, Robert Guillaume, a young Billy Crystal (a rare recurring gay character*), and more.
Far more screwball than practically anything else on the air at the time, the show aimed for laughs but still pushed the envelope far more than they needed to, and they pulled in loads of eyeballs! That’s why it was so shocking that, at the end of the third season, which features a jaw-dropping cliffhanger, the show was cancelled.
That didn’t stop ABC from producing spin-offs, though. If you’re a child of the 80s, you probably never realized that BENSON was born from SOAP.
If you’re a fan of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, you owe yourself to trace your television heritage back and watch this. (Mitch Hurwitz cut his teeth on GOLDEN GIRLS, and no doubt, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT would not exist if it weren’t for SOAP.) It was well-ahead of its time, and it’s a crime that it’s mostly forgotten.
It’s worth noting that MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN had one of the first gay storylines on TV, but it didn’t last that long, whereas Crystal’s character did. Whether Crystal’s performance was a good thing is another question all together.
A breakout daily satirical soap conceptualized by Norman Lear, but shaped by Gail Parent, Ann Marcus and Joan Darling, focused around a severely dysfunctional family and their titular wife, Mary Hartman (played by Louise Lasser), whose life of constant stress and anxiety and insecurity builds to a crescendo of a nervous breakdown. It’s a severely intelligent, often hilarious, self-critical melodrama about domesticity, consumer culture, American media & existentialism that’s just as relevant now as it was when this was first broadcast.
The show nailed its tone out of the gate, as you can see with the infamous ‘Waxy Yellow Buildup’ series opener:
(I really wish SHOUT! featured a longer clip, as the first half of the premiere is amazing. The show quickly picked up its pace, but kept its oft-putting, absurd sensibility, well before it was fashionable.)
It’s worth noting that MARY HARTMAN was a full-blown phenomenon, at least for its first year. If you’ve read the first TALES OF THE CITY (1978), you know that characters planned their days around the broadcast. Lasser was brought onto SNL to do a Mary Hartman bit, which allegedly resulted in her being banned from the show for erratic behavior.
The show was too smart, burned through too much plot, was too emotionally grueling and controversial to have any proper longevity, and it wrapped when Lasser bowed out at the end of the second season which, doesn’t sound like much, but those two seasons consisted of 325 half-hour episodes over the period of under two years.
If you’d like to read more about it (instead of watching all 325 episodes like I have), here are two great places to start:
In typical Lear fashion, a spin-off was born based on one of the odder characters, Barth Gimble, as FERNWOOD 2 NIGHT, and then reborn as FERNWOOD FOREVER, both tongue-in-cheek takes on local late night programming which are probably better remembered today than MARY HARTMAN is.
(DVD/YouTube) PROFIT has the dubious honor of ushering in the modern era of asshole male anti-heroes, despite the fact that practically no one watched it which resulted in it being cancelled having only aired four episodes (four more were aired on the late, lamented — at least by me — Trio channel, and are available on the very out-of-print DVD).
That said, critics loved it, despite the fact that the lead character — Jim Profit, yes that’s his name — is a cutthroat corporate man, willing to do anything to get ahead. The storytelling engine has him crushing a fellow employee (or just someone in his way), then celebrating by opening up a hilariously dated virtual reality app and shattering their poorly rendered 3D likeness.
On top of this, he has severe mental issues: he killed his father, slept with his mom (well, step-mother), and every episode ends with him climbing naked into a cardboard box to sleep.
While you might think that this would be played as a soap, no, it’s played straight as straight as can be, often with grizzled narration from Profit himself, occasionally even addressing the audience. It helps that Jim Profit, played by Adrian Pasdar, could turn on the charm in a way that few other TV anti-heroes have managed. (Gandolfini excepted, of course.)
At the time, there was nothing like it on air, which sadly seems to be why FOX briefly flirted with the idea of rebooting it. (Given the state of the world right now, it appears they’ve wisely realized that’s a terrible idea.)
I’m not going to say PROFIT was a great show, but it did have a lot of fantastic — albeit absurd — character work. Also, just about anyone reading this probably has loved one of the shows that creators John McNamara (THE MAGICIANS, JERICHO, BRISCO COUNTY JR.) or David Greenblatt (EUREKA, GRIMM, SURFACE) have been heavily involved with. (Also, both worked on ANGEL.)
While the entire series is difficult to find, the 90min pilot is available on YouTube, which should give you more than enough of a taste for the show.
(DVD) Sadly, there’s no way to stream this show, no way to digitally purchase any eps, and the DVDs are definitely costly, but I can’t talk about undersung TV shows without discussing MILLENNIUM.
MILLENNIUM was Chris Carter’s second FOX show, launched midway through X-FILES’ run. The first season was a severely grimdark and mostly lackluster procedural about Frank Black (Lance Hendrickson, giving it his all), a gifted profiler hunting down serial killers, with a mostly untouched framing device about the killers being obsessed with the upcoming millennium. I do not recommend the first season.
The second season was handed off to X-FILES alums Glen Morgan & James Wong — yes, the folks behind FINAL DESTINATION — and they reframe the show into a battle of Christian sub-sects — the Owls versus the Roosters — and they ramp up the ‘gifts’ that have been bestowed upon Frank Black in that he can see devils and angels, then they double-down on his family guilt by adding Darrin McGavin as his father. The show culminates in a ‘burn the fucking world down’ finale that Morgan & Wong surely thought would result in the show being cancelled, because they were fucking pissed off at FOX’s notes and knew they would not be invited back.
Not one, but two episodes of the second season were written by legendary TV writer (and Glen Morgan’s brother) Darin Morgan, probably best known for his X-FILES ep -Jose Chung’s ‘From Outer Space’-. Darin brings Chung back in Morgan’s -second- most memorable MILLENNIUM episode: -Jose Chung’s ‘Doomsday Defense’-, which is a must-see, and entertaining enough as a stand-alone.
For my money, Darin Morgan’s most memorable episode is -Somehow Satan Got Behind Me-, and it’s something special: four devils — literal devils — gather in at a donut shop in the early morning hours to discuss their latest accomplishments in corrupting humanity. That’s it, that’s the episode. It’s surprisingly melancholy and hits hard, and it deserves more attention.
The other facet MILLENNIUM S2 excelled at was silence. So many MILLENNIUM S2 episodes went five or more minutes without anyone saying anything, and the pinacle of this is with their Halloween episode, -The Curse of Frank Black-, in which ‘modern day’ Frank Black maybe utters 100 words, tops (most of which boil down to an argument with his tech sidekick as to whether the killer in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is a spree killer or a serial killer). Instead, the score speaks for him.
What Glen Morgan & James Wong always excel at is infusing their scripts with the perfect song, usually via counterpointing or general sentimentality. Season two introduced so many classic artists and songs to my young mind: Terry Jack’s Seasons in the Sun (via -Goodbye Charlie-), the muzak of Love is Blue from Paul Mauriat (via -Room With No View-) and, most importantly, the goddamn entirety of Patti Smith’s Horses for a ten-minute scene in -The Time is Now Part 2-, which is paired with a no-budget experimental phantasmagoria that, as I watched it live in 1998 — imagine watching this on network TV in 1998 — dropped my jaw. I’ve still never seen anything quite like it on TV. (No spoilers concerning the link below — it’s mostly context-free.)
Morgan & Wong — predictably — were jettisoned after season two, and the third season rolled back their finale and, apart from the addition of Klea Scott as Frank’s new partner and a somewhat amusing Halloween episode, it limped along for 22 eps before being cancelled. There’s an epilogue episode in X-FILES’ seventh season (the fourth ep) but it’s perfunctory and lackluster.
Just stick with the second season and you’ll be fine.
(SyFy/VOD) Another cheat, as it was very briefly a SyFy TV show, but I felt like it’d be a disservice to wait until November to boost this horror one-season wonder.
I can’t believe this aired on basic cable.
The show’s basically DEATH RACE 2000, but the cars are Cronenberg-ian devices that run on blood, and every episode riffs off of a different horror genre. Watch the trailer, as it succinctly explains the premise:
Now, with a premise like that, they could’ve just phoned in the eps, made them all stand-alone stories, but no — they fleshed out the lore, ruthlessly plotted it, made it super smart with surprisingly rich and empathetic characters — Colin Cunningham as Julian Slink is especially delightful — all while still managing to be one of the most amusing and disgusting things I’ve ever seen on TV. A surprisingly perfect season of TV.
If you still aren’t sold? Well, it’s basically second-wave industrial music conceptualized as a TV show.
(Hulu) Again, kind of a cheat, as technically Hulu’s INTO THE DARK is a TV series where every episode is a feature-length film. Like MASTERS OF HORROR, there are more prestigious entries in the series (I’M JUST FUCKING WITH OUT, PURE, MY VALENTINE) but, this is the only ‘sequel’ so far in the series. The original POOKA was a decent ‘cursed item’ film (especially in reflecting our new gig economy hellscape), but with POOKA LIVES!, director Nacho Vigalondo (TIMECRIMES, COLOSSAL) really maximizes the satirical potential, without minimizing the emotional bits.
Oh, and I may have buried the lede in that it’s a murderer’s row of nerdy actors: Malcolm Barrett! Lyndie Greenwood! Rachael Bloom! Felicia Day! Jonah Ray!
I’m not sure if INTO THE DARK will get a third season, but I do hope they continue with POOKA’s adventures. It’s been a while since we’ve had an original franchise that’s made it to three ‘films’.
(hoopla/kanopy/Plex/tubi/VOD/Vudu) Yes, this is a bit of a cheat, as it is technically part of Showtime’s TV horror anthology series MASTERS OF HORROR (masterminded by Mick Garris, who will pop up later). Yeah, I could mention any of Stuart Gordon or Joe Dante’s contributions, but those feel like -prestige- horror (-especially- Dante’s brilliant version of THE SCREWFLY SOLUTION) but, to me, THE WASHINGTONIANS is a perfect go-for-broke hour long ‘What If?!’ adaptation, which I feel is what short horror stories excel at.
THE WASHINGTONIANS is about the buried history of George Washington, based on Bentley Little’s short story, and it’s batshit crazy in a NATIONAL TREASURE + Joe Dante way. It’s horror via discovery. The stakes are high, but the peril is low. I won’t say it’s family-friendly, because it’s utterly disgusting at times, but it’s mostly non-threatening and a lot of dumb fun in a way that I think has been lacking in the past decade of horror. (It helps that they have Saul Rubinek to sell the lore. Oh, and did I mention that Peter Medak (THE CHANGELING, plenty of TV including two eps of HANNIBAL) directed it?)
(Just to be clear: if you do watch it, I’d like to note that I don’t approve of the epilogue.)
(HBO MAX/YouTube) There was a weird time during the late 80s/early 90s in which studios were keen on peculiar supernatural/weird neo-noir films (see: ANGEL HEART (1987), WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? (1988), DOG CITY (1989), etc.), which apparently resulted in this strange, surprisingly expensive, made-for-HBO TV film that merges the two. It’s an extraordinarily exacting love letter to those who love strange fiction and noir — the lead is named H. Phillip Lovecraft, blood occasionally rains from the skies, TWILIGHT ZONE-ish gremlins clog car engines, and magic is everywhere.
The dialogue is whip-smart, the plotting intersects with all your favourite Chandler and Hammett novels, and the casting is (mostly) perfect, with Fred Ward as a fantastic Marlowe, and Julianne Moore as the quintessential noir woman of interest.
Honestly, I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this film before stumbling upon it while scanning HBO MAX’s recent additions. Speaking as someone who has penned my own Lovecraft/Hammett mashup and has the rejection letters to prove it, this film knocks it out of the park, and the fact that they did so in ’91 is to be applauded. Hell, even without the supernatural hokum, it’d still be an entertaining Chandler fanfic.
As you may expect from a 90’s Lovecraft mashup, it’s a pretty problematic film when it comes to race, but it also features some transphobia that I’m pretty sure writer Joseph Dougherty originally thought was very clever, but has aged very poorly.
Fun Fact: Apparently there’s a 50s-centric sequel, WITCH HUNT (1994) also penned by Joseph Dougherty, but directed by Paul Schrader, and stars Dennis Hopper. I have yet to hunt down a copy, but I’d appreciate it if anyone could lead me to one.
(tubi/YouTube)? Bonkers Canadian nightmare fuel for pre-teens that’s surreally entertaining for adults. Best if you go in blind, but if you must watch the trailer, it paints the film (well, TV film) as something simple and naive, but no, it is not that. Not that at all.
