Horror

THE WASHINGTONIANS (2007)

October 10, 2020

(hoopla/kanopy/Plex/tubi/VOD/Vudu) Yes, this is a bit of a cheat, as it is technically part of Showtime’s TV horror anthology series MASTERS OF HORROR (masterminded by Mick Garris, who will pop up later). Yeah, I could mention any of Stuart Gordon or Joe Dante’s contributions, but those feel like -prestige- horror (-especially- Dante’s brilliant version of THE SCREWFLY SOLUTION) but, to me, THE WASHINGTONIANS is a perfect go-for-broke hour long ‘What If?!’ adaptation, which I feel is what short horror stories excel at.

THE WASHINGTONIANS is about the buried history of George Washington, based on Bentley Little’s short story, and it’s batshit crazy in a NATIONAL TREASURE + Joe Dante way. It’s horror via discovery. The stakes are high, but the peril is low. I won’t say it’s family-friendly, because it’s utterly disgusting at times, but it’s mostly non-threatening and a lot of dumb fun in a way that I think has been lacking in the past decade of horror. (It helps that they have Saul Rubinek to sell the lore. Oh, and did I mention that Peter Medak (THE CHANGELING, plenty of TV including two eps of HANNIBAL) directed it?)

(Just to be clear: if you do watch it, I’d like to note that I don’t approve of the epilogue.)

BLISS (2019)

October 9, 2020

(AMC+/Shudder/VOD) There’s not a lot to BLISS — it’s a horror-fueled drug trip that comes at you like a car crash — but the best moments flash before your eyes right before you’re hit, and I’m not about to spoil ‘em.

Visually compelling (although rarely astounding), Dora Madison (who never quite got to shine on FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS) fuels the film, playing with crazed-but-grounded intensity, and George Wendt inserts himself into the film because he apparently loves horror and throws himself into his role.

CAST A DEADLY SPELL (1991)

October 8, 2020

(HBO MAX/YouTube) There was a weird time during the late 80s/early 90s in which studios were keen on peculiar supernatural/weird neo-noir films (see: ANGEL HEART (1987), WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? (1988), DOG CITY (1989), etc.), which apparently resulted in this strange, surprisingly expensive, made-for-HBO TV film that merges the two. It’s an extraordinarily exacting love letter to those who love strange fiction and noir — the lead is named H. Phillip Lovecraft, blood occasionally rains from the skies, TWILIGHT ZONE-ish gremlins clog car engines, and magic is everywhere.

The dialogue is whip-smart, the plotting intersects with all your favourite Chandler and Hammett novels, and the casting is (mostly) perfect, with Fred Ward as a fantastic Marlowe, and Julianne Moore as the quintessential noir woman of interest.

Honestly, I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this film before stumbling upon it while scanning HBO MAX’s recent additions. Speaking as someone who has penned my own Lovecraft/Hammett mashup and has the rejection letters to prove it, this film knocks it out of the park, and the fact that they did so in ’91 is to be applauded. Hell, even without the supernatural hokum, it’d still be an entertaining Chandler fanfic.

As you may expect from a 90’s Lovecraft mashup, it’s a pretty problematic film when it comes to race, but it also features some transphobia that I’m pretty sure writer Joseph Dougherty originally thought was very clever, but has aged very poorly.

Fun Fact: Apparently there’s a 50s-centric sequel, WITCH HUNT (1994) also penned by Joseph Dougherty, but directed by Paul Schrader, and stars Dennis Hopper. I have yet to hunt down a copy, but I’d appreciate it if anyone could lead me to one.

DON’T LOOK NOW (1973)

October 7, 2020

(kanopy/VOD) Well-known for director Nicolas Roeg, but certainly one of the lesser-known Daphne du Maurier (THE BIRDS, JAMAICA INN, MY COUSIN RACHEL, REBECCA, etc.) stories. A haunting thriller about a husband and wife in Venice, coping with possibly being haunted by their drowned daughter.

I initially saw part of it while on-the-job in college — many moons ago — but didn’t fully see it until relatively recently, after reading the original novella, and was glad I did, as I’d recently visited Venice and both the novella and film take place there.

Yes, the film is over forty years old, but it perfectly captures the atmosphere of the city, the verticality, the claustrophobia and overwhelming aging presence of the city’s architecture. Oh, and of course being constantly surrounded by water that threatens to swallow you up.

It’s an absolutely perfect setting for du Maurier — the master of detailing one’s attempts to maintain a relationship amongst metaphorical crumbling buildings — and Roeg captures it perfectly, while amplifying the thriller aspects that are somewhat lacking in the source material. The end may or may not work for you — it’s definitely something you’ll remember — but it’s authentic to the source.

THE OLD DARK HOUSE (1932)

October 6, 2020

(hoopla/kanopy/tubi/VOD/YouTube) It’s an early James Whale pre-code piece, directed after FRANKENSTEIN (1931) but before THE INVISIBLE MAN (1933), and the progenitor of the classic ‘overstuffed featured players haunted house’ film genre.

It’s based on J. B. Priestley’s BENIGHTED novel — I’m not familiar with the novel itself yet — but the film excels as the same sort of trapped room psychological horror/thriller that’d become extremely popular — even routine — a decade or so later.

As always, Whale and his cinematographer Arthur Edeson (one of Whale’s regulars, who also shot FRANKENSTEIN and THE INVISIBLE MAN, but also CASABLANCA (1942)) play with visual planes, and maximize the height of the titular house.

EXCISION (2012)

October 5, 2020

(Plex/Prime/tubi/VOD/Vudu) A thrilling, often very funny, horror tale about a teen girl discovering herself, despite her parents (including Traci Lords). Delightfully horrific and fucked up, features a small part with John Waters, and not nearly as campy as the casting may sound.

I’m pretty sure they had the rights to NINE INCH NAILS’ CLOSER for a split second and this is a fan-captured trailer but, even if it’s a fan-made trailer, it’s goddamn perfect — far better than any of the other trailers (NSFW):

GRETEL & HANSEL (2020)

October 4, 2020

(epix/Hulu/Paramount+/VOD) One of the last films I managed to catch in an actual theater before lockdown. Lushly shot — often explicitly evoking Jodorowsky’s THE HOLY MOUNTAIN — and exquisitely paced, with striking production design — as you’d expect from Oz Perkins — but mostly, it’s another triumph for actress Sophia Lillis.

The characters are a bit more fleshed out, the circumstances are broadened a bit for a modern horror audience, but it’s still the Hansel & Gretel you know. It’s not trying to be IN THE COMPANY OF WOLVES (1984, see yesterday).

(As a film nerd, I was unreasonably delighted to see the ORION PICTURES card on the big screen for a new film. Dumb, yes, I know, but I have many weaknesses.)

THE COMPANY OF WOLVES (1984)

October 3, 2020

(kanopy/tubi/VOD) A small set of horrific coming-of-age fairy tales from Neil Jordan (THE CRYING GAME, GRETA), adapted with feminist horror author Angela Carter, based on several short stories from her THE BLOODY CHAMBER short story collection. As a bonus, Angela Lansbury appears, as does a mostly silent Danielle Dax! (If you’re goth, you’ll get it.)

Neil Jordan bemoaned upon seeing the theatrical cut that he’d “made a movie where the target audience is only girls and dogs,” but it holds up as a genuinely taut and thrilling anthology that re-contextualizes cautionary childhood tales into cautionary tales for the recently sexually awoken. Visually, it’s very stagey, but the effects and wall-to-wall predators will stick in your mind for at least a decade or two.

TRAGEDY GIRLS (2017)

October 1, 2020

(hoopla/kanopy/Hulu/VOD) The story of two teen murderesses and the trials of their friendship. Riffs on all of the great teen horror films — probably the most quotable teen horror film I’ve seen in years (it’s been endlessly compared to HEATHERS (1989)) — but still manages to be something completely different, while also being emotionally satisfying.

I’ve said this before but, while there’s a trailer? Best not to watch it, as it gives away all of the best moments & lines. That said, it’s an endlessly re-watchable trailer.

“You’re just hitting bone, dude.” “I’m trying!”

(I know we’re all loving A24 and ANNAPURNA right now, but GUNPOWDER & SKY doesn’t get enough credit, as they’ve shipped some amazing works out into the world within the past several years. Hell, they don’t even have a proper Wikipedia page!)