ROGUE (2007)

(VOD/Vudu) Greg McLean followed up WOLF CREEK (2005) with this tremendously satisfying Australian giant crocodile film. As with all of McLean’s films, the characters are far more nuanced than necessary for the material, and he has a fantastic command of wringing the most tension out of a scene without making it feel cheap. For a giant creature flick, it has some surprisingly poignant moments. Sadly, this was the era of schlockier creature features, and the film never gained much traction.

It helps that the cast is full of brilliant-but-underrated performers: Michael Vartan (an oft-forgotten part of ALIAS) milks his shy eyes and perpetually concerned brow; Radha Mitchell (PITCH BLACK, SILENT HILL) plays it straight and extremely considered; a young, fresh faced Mia Wasikowska (CRIMSON PEAK, STOKER, DAMSEL); oh, and also Sam Worthington (MAN ON A LEDGE, THUNDERSTRUCK).

All of this said, it’s slightly hampered by early naughts CGI and more mansplaining than I remember, but it’s still a thrilling time.

THE HONEYMOON KILLERS (1970)

(Criterion/HBO MAX/VOD) Very loosely based on a true story, it’s a very straight-forward thriller about a con-man and unrequited love, but also a prototype film for similarly fraught couple killer films to come. It has a distinct rawness to it makes it far more engaging and interesting than it sounds like on the page.

PONTYPOOL (2008)

(AMC+/VOD) Based on Tony Burgess’ PONTYPOOL CHANGES EVERYTHING, the film condenses and improves on the source material, turning it into more of a WAR OF THE WORLDS broadcast, becoming more of a stage/radioplay than film. This piece about a virus transmitted via speech wouldn’t work nearly as well without Stephen McHattie’s resonant voice -and- acerbically charismatic presence. That said, even without him, it’d still be an imaginatively brilliant and horrifying work. The mid-film obituaries hit hard. It’s a masterclass in wringing the most from a smart concept by selling a lot through showing very little.

A sequel has long been rumored — I assume it’d be based on CAESAREA, which I have yet to read — but by all indications it’d be significantly larger in scope, whereas PONTYPOOL (the film) works better because of its insular scope.

“Pontypool is under quarantine. Everyone has to stay inside at all times.” Frankly, I’m shocked they haven’t re-united the cast for a COVID-19 ZOOM play. I’d pay damn good money to hear that.

PARENTS (1989)

(Prime/tubi/VOD) Directed by beloved character actor Bob Balaban! Scored with mambo-verve by Angelo Badalamenti! Mary Beth Hurt channelling Mary Astor! Sandy Dennis! Dennis Quaid back when he used to give a shit!

Delightfully weird, but very relatable, suburban horror coming-of-age film where the pre-teen kids’ strange imaginations run wild as they suss out that adults are really just large, hungry, hedonistic animals. We need more Sheilas in stories.

If anyone knows anything about the featured home, I’d love to hear about it because I swear I recognize it. It feels like it was ripped straight from Tati’s MON UNCLE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHybb1zSH-g

As a treat, here’s Ebert panning the film:

BLACK ROCK (2012)

(tubi/VOD) An absolutely brutal ‘girls trip to the woods gone wrong’ tale written, directed, and staring mumblecore staple Katie Aselton. The uncomfortable dynamic between the friends is the heart of the film, but it’s also briskly paced and contains more than a few jarring surprises. The closing shot is pure cinema, haunting in a Haneke way, and has lingered in my mind for months.

THE VELVET VAMPIRE (1971)

(Plex/tubi) Extremely padded vampire seductress film, but the sexual politics make it far more interesting than most Corman fare, and visually it has more in common with giallo than most films his studio was churning out.

Katie Rife does a far better job of boosting it than I ever could, so I implore you to read what she has to say about it: https://film.avclub.com/dreamy-and-atmospheric-the-velvet-vampire-added-a-subv-1844538361

NIGHTBREED: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT (2014)

(peacock/Prime/tubi/VOD/Vudu) Apart from CANDYMAN and the short story it’s based on, and HELLRAISER, I’m not much of a Clive Barker fan, so NIGHTBREED is new to me. That said, if someone had told me that David Cronenberg was the goddamn villain of the film, I would have rectified that mistake years ago. (Instead I had to find that out from a recent DOUBLE THREAT podcast episode.)

While Cronenberg is marvelously sinister (and his mask is something special), what really strikes me about the film is that it has a distinct queer/club kid/Tod Browning FREAKS vibe to it, which I should have expected but did not. On top of that, the Nightbreed designs are strikingly unique, the script contains a surprising amount of humor, and Elfman’s score is absurdly lush. Much more delightful than I imagined. Perhaps I’m a Barker fan after all!

IMAGES (1972)

(kanopy/tubi/VOD) In-between MCCABE & MRS. MILLER and THE LONG GOODBYE, Robert Altman directed this British psychodrama oddity, loosely based on lead actress Susannah York’s children’s book IN SEARCH OF UNICORNS. I know we always think of Altman as a loosey-goosey director, reveling in overlapping dialogue and aural confusion but, after all, his comeback film was the mannered murder mystery GOSFORD PARK (and, holy moly, what a cast that film had).

This is Altman as European horror art film director, and IMAGES is a genre take on the likes of Bergman’s PERSONA. Altman still can’t resist a bit of messiness, as it’s still a bit difficult to suss out the how’s and why’s and when’s after the credits roll, but it’s a thrillingly performed bit of a mess, and York is perfect in her role(s).

THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982)

(AMC+/hoopla/SHUDDER/tubi/VOD/Vudu)? I recently watched a short documentary about the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET franchise and one of the dudes in the doc — because of course they only talked to dudes — panned MASSACRE because the killer lacked character, and wow, way to miss the fucking point of the film.

MASSACRE was penned by Rita Mae Brown, a well-known feminist activist and writer, and Corman picked it up and gave it to Amy Holden Jones to direct, but only if she’d play it straight. It features wall-to-wall women, all more capable and unique than you’d normally see in a slasher film, and the film leans so heavily on the male gaze that it’s intentionally absurd, a sly way of gaining Corman’s approval while hoping others would recognize it as visually subversive.

As I’m sure anyone reading this is aware, sadly, the horror genre has leaned even harder into exploitation and male gaze — not to mention outright misogyny — since ’82, so what at that time was meant to be winking reads as standard fare.

As a slasher film, it holds up — the killer may not have the silhouette of Jason or Michael, but the drill is undeniably iconic, and the film utilizes the full frame in more Hitchcockian ways than you’d expect from an 80s Corman exploitation film.

It excels at satire, though. None of the boys are heroes, the girls spend their time reading PLAYGIRL and trying to figure out the score of a recent baseball game, often while eating pizza over a dead body.

Again, you might want to skip the trailer, as it gives everything away.

Please note: the following trailer is VERY NSFW.

WES CRAVEN’S NEW NIGHTMARE (1994)

(HBO MAX/VOD) Proto-90s post-modern horror. I’d say SCREAM before Wes Craven’s SCREAM, but that infers that it’s a lesser film than SCREAM whereas I think it’s one of the smartest self-reflexive horror films ever made; it’s an author reckoning with the perils of creating a horror film franchise that spirals out of their control, while still being an absurdly entertaining, winking, surreal and horrifying film. Smartly shot and absolutely ruthlessly paced — every scene expertly blends into the next — it’s Wes Craven besting himself.

A brilliant film, even if you haven’t seen prior NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET films, but so much better if you have.