Techno

Content Warning

This post is sexually explicit, but not in a fun way.

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LORDS OF ACID are a quintessential late 80s/90s techno-industrial band, all dancehall woman-belting and raw synths and dirty beats, but they were far, far filthier than anything of their time. Hell, even for now.

This is a band whose breakout single — from their debut album titled ‘LUST’ — repeatedly features the refrain “Sit on my face”.

Additional songs from ‘LUST’ include Rough Sex and I Must Increase My Bust which do what they say on the tin. The Most Wonderful Girl? Yeah, that’s all about loving yourself in more than one way.

Their second album ‘VOODOO-U’ featured beautifully eye-searingly neon lurid cover art from hotrod artist COOP which, well, is comprised of a devil orgy and everything is on display, to the point where they had to have both uncensored and censored versions of the cover.

So it should come as no surprise that on ‘VOODOO-U’ they penned an entire song — The Crablouse — about a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

It should also come as no surprise that I fucking love it.

Here’s a message for the girls about vaginas
And the consequence of fiddling with a partner
Mind your labia they’re never out of danger
If you’re gonna go to bed with a stranger

For whatever reason, despite the fallout from Nancy Reagan’s 80s protectiveness and censorship and HIV/AIDS — or perhaps because of it — the 90s musically reveled in sexuality and sensuality, and LORDS OF ACID took that to the extreme. As you can read in the peppered lyrics here, there isn’t a single line here that isn’t either sexually loaded or absolutely explicit.

If you meet a guy who’s scratching at his totem
We all know that it’s connected with his scrotum
He might tell you that his undie is too tight
But you’ll know that it’s the crablouse and you’re right

While some may write The Crablouse off as a song that exists solely for shock value with a fantastic kick — and don’t get me wrong, I love it for that alone — I think it’s not without merit, that it’s sincere and substantial and serves a purpose.

If a crablouse gets mixed up in your saliva
Stumbles through your body right into your vulva
Then waits patiently until penetration
Gets it out of there and right into salvation

STIs are perhaps one of the last taboo topics when it comes to mainstream culture. It’s a stigma, something to be shameful of, perhaps because of puritanism, of the myth that folks are sexless and virginal until they meet the person they’ll die with or whatnot; it’s something not to be talked about out loud but whispered. These are physical matters that only occur to the deviants, societal aberrations, and they’re reaping what they’ve sown.

The little vampire, horny and so greedy
It doesn’t care about a penis and it’s envy
It’s intelligent, nasty and it’s sick
A party animal, a pervert and a pig

Obviously, that’s not the case. Not to get all high-school sex-ed on you but one in five folks in America has or have had one (and that’s just based on reported numbers). Hell, even if one is chaste, they may contract one from the person they marry or permanently partner with. Some may go to their grave without ever knowing that they have an STI.

Now we know the little crablouse is a raver
You can’t get rid of it unless you use a razor
It’s unbearable, funky and so cool
A real smartass and nobody’s fool

With The Crablouse LORDS OF ACID shove this awareness in your face and make you confront the fact that STIs exist and they revel in the fact that this is just a part of enjoying life, that we should be thankful that we have remedies and methods and ways to heal and continue to indulge in desire.

It’s there to stay, sucks all day
It’s there to bite, my parasite
My love machine, my maddest dream
Turns me on, makes me come

This isn’t the purpose of the post — the purpose is to recommend this banger of a song — however? Get tested. Use protection, although that doesn’t 100% guarantee against STIs but it’s the best you can do. (No risk, no reward and all that.) I shouldn’t have to be typing this, but I am anyway because well, I’ve known more than a few folks that knew better not to do so but …didn’t.

Be aware of not just your body, but also your partner or partners. Doesn’t matter your age or disposition. I believe that LORDS OF ACID does an exceptional effort at drawing attention to all of that, without explicitly stating so despite that they’re all about being explicit.

It is a cautionary tale for adults in its twisted way, all accompanied by heavy-hitting beats.

Lastly I’ll note that, shockingly, there is an actual video for the song that — while yes, it traffics in a lot of fetish wear — is surprisingly tame, but still manages to convey the verve and abandon of the song.