P!NK – U + UR HAND (2006)

I don’t know how much you know about goth or industrial clubs — at least in Chicago (and excepting EXIT) — but the general rule is: don’t fucking touch strangers, which I realize sounds antithetical for dance clubs. (I’ll note: movies definitely misrepresent these spaces, almost to a dangerous degree.)

Sure, there’s the accidental bumping, but for the most part? The great part of these clubs are: let people dance their dance and don’t intrude. That was kind of a strange idea for clubs when I was growing up, in the age of MTV groping, but damn I’m so glad they had that ethos. I have a lot of issues, but these clubs were safe spaces which — again — I realize sounds antithetical for dance clubs. It helped that most of them were nested in queer communities. I’m stupidly physical, but also extremely wary of anyone who comes into my radius, so it was delightful to have clubs where I could just feel free. (It also helped that I occasionally was the DJ.)

The Chicago club bouncers are very good at their jobs, at being mindful of bad behavior. Hell, even my wife and I were kicked out of NEO [R.I.P.] once for being way too rambunctious, and rightfully so.

To me, that’s what U + UR HAND — both the song and video — is emblematic of:

“Don’t touch — back up.”

While I love the song, I adore the video, especially with it leaning on all sorts of characters and dystopian design. It’s a video I return to time-and-time again, and not just because it’s also heavily riffed on in the severely underrated and under-watched 12 MONKEYS TV show.

I was lucky enough to enjoy this song when it aired (even as an older dude and absolutely knew what this was fully about), but read the YouTube comments and see how influential P!NK has been. She does not get enough credit.

“Just let me have my fun to—night, all—right?”

SHIPPING UP TO BOSTON/ENTER SANDMAN – Bagpipe Cover (The Snake Charmer x Goddesses of Bagpipe) (2019)

My wife: “Hey let me pull something up on YouTube— wait, what is that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s a weird bagpipe mashup cover video that I love.”

My wife: “…and you didn’t think I’d be interested?”

Ah, married life.

But I digress. What I adore about this is: they are all amazingly talented musicians who make this work across nations, and they’re also absolutely showing the fuck off. They have pride in what they do and how they do it — as they should! They’re performers performing and reveling in it — holy hell, their finger work is brilliant — and it’s astounding, and it’s brilliant, and they’re also absolutely fearless in public and I cannot get enough of it!

“Do you have a metronome?”

“I do, but I have to warn you: it’s cursed.”

“…whatever!”

Yup. My kind of folks.

THE PIPETTES – CALL ME (2011)

While I really miss the old-school THE PIPETTES, goddamn, this hits me hard and I love it.

Also, it’s a great video to get severely high to.

I don’t love admitting that, but … it’s true. I can’t number the times I’ve rocked out to it while fucking numb. All arms lashing out and silently shouting about!

It’s absolutely mind-blowing. The echoes, the reverb, the reiteration and colored-copies! It’s a cacophony of cascades! And if you’re high? Holy fucking hell, it’s so much fun! It feels like you’re just all wrapped up, while also acting out! I realize that’s an antithesis, but damn, it’s 100% comfort food and I will not apologize for that! My eyes grow absolutely wide every time I hear this and I just …glow.

“Us, me — oh no — let’s try to make it thr—ooooough!”

conner4real – F**K OFF

POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING is — like JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS — a criminally underrated cult film about pop music and musicians. I could write forever about it, but instead, I stupidly want to focus on the deleted musical number FUCK OFF, which isn’t even in the film proper.

You might want to watch it first:

I have no idea why they filmed this. The lyrics alone — which apart from the FUCK OFF anthem also features the line ‘you think I look like a punk, when your face looks like an elephant’s c**t’ — automatically guarantees an NC-17 rating. (I especially appreciate the cut-away to a youth singing along to the lyric.) They spent a lot of money and a lot of time on this one weird number that — checks notes — well, it has almost nine million views, so maybe that’s why.

This song is wall-to-wall filth, pretending to be pre-teen-friendly, which is in-and-of-itself absolute perfection. I swear like a fucking sailor and even I was astounded by this song. (In a good way, though!)

Even better, it is visually perfect, featuring amazing choreography and eye-popping colors, crop-tops and Britney schoolgirl skirts and screaming audience members, all moving in-sync. It’s a perfect encapsulation of coming-of-age youth stadium shows.

My favorite incredibly stupid detail is the one audience member brandishing a GameBoy Color standing in as an iPhone.

It is a gloriously dumb-smart bit that was too good for the world, relegated to the bin of DVD extras, but is definitely worth your time if you have the stomach for it.

I hope you get butt-fucked in prison! Be good to each other — peace!

Janelle Monáe

Diving into Janelle Monáe’s back-catalogue:

I was lucky enough to see her live at the Chicago Theatre, one of the oddest places for her to play as you’re meant to have your ass in your seats, and if there’s anything that Monae’s work is about, it’s about getting your ass up to dance.

So I did, but tried to do so in the least in-fractious way possible, but still kept bumping up against my ticket neighbor. After the show ended and the lights turned on, I apologized to her, and she retorted “If that’s the worst thing I have to endure today, I’ll consider it a good day.”

KIMYA DAWSON – Walk Like Thunder (2011)

Closing out one of the hardest years of my life with Kimya Dawson, who always helps to boost me.

Angelo Badalamenti (1937-2022)

If the works of David Lynch have taught us anything, it’s that those who have passed will live long in our memories and, sadly, composer Angelo Badalamenti will now only exist in that realm.

I’ve thought and mused a lot about TWIN PEAKS over the past few years, for reasons anyone can probably suss out, but I feel like I failed to give due attention to how much work Badalamenti does to buoy Lynch. Yes, there’s Laura Palmer’s iconic theme, and of course Audrey’s dance, but I find his score for FIRE WALK WITH ME to be far more resonant and brutal, The Pink Room (NSFW) in particular.

His influence cannot be overstated. He provided an enlightened soundtrack for scores of dreamy and broken and fucked-up individuals, and he will be missed.

FIGHT LIKE APES – ‘Tie Me Up in Jackets’ (2009)

“I don’t like simple, kid.”