Granted, this week of “Tainted Love” songs has run longer than a proper week, but I couldn’t go without mentioning SOFT CELL’s cover, which is the quintessential version for Gen X’ers and always guaranteed a good turnout on the dance floor.
Featuring Marc Almond and David Ball, it’s perhaps this is what SOFT CELL is best known for. It even set a Guinness World Record for longest stay on the Billboard Hot chart.
Perfectly programmed, expertly composed, it’s an absolute earworm that will never die. The video is oddly queer phantasmagoria, even for the 80s, but also completely fascinating and compelling.
Even though this is the most languid cover of “Tainted Love”, I have so much adoration for it. It’s so evocative and has so much heft, a quality which I always loved COIL for. They managed to aurally imbue queer anguish into it, which is a goddamn feat. While I know it was specifically recorded for the AIDS/HIV pandemic — yet another pandemic that still isn’t over! — it works on so many other levels.
“Everybody is looking for something. I traveled the world and the seven seas…”
One of the very many dumb things about me is: about every few months or so, my body goes into a weird physical overdrive which is kind of a nightmare scenario for me as I’ve always been terribly sensitive. I’ve consulted doctors, I have therapists, I’ve been through a regiment of therapeutics, and those behind them have just thrown hands up and ask: “Are you sure you’re feeling this?”
To which I respond: “Yes, I’m fucking sure. It’s been happening for years, as you can see by my fucking records. My body feels like it’s on fire and wants everyone to put it out, and I mean everyone. How many times do I fucking have to say this?”
When it’s at its peak, I’ll maybe be awake for nine hours a day — to work, thank God — and then I crash, hard. It is physically exhausting and I hate it…
“I’ve got to …get away! You don’t really want anymore from me!”
…but I also love it. I love it way too much. When awake, my face glows in a way that I seem high, as my wife can attest by: “It’s like you’re on Ecstasy.”
“I’ve never done E! You literally talked me out of doing it prior to our courtship!”
(That’s a story for another time.)
What’s worse is that the ascribed drugs I’ve been given happen to exacerbate the feeling, which obviously doesn’t help.
This is a very long-winded reasoning for part the impetus for this deep-dive into “Tainted Love”.
“Some of them want to abuse you.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; I’m stupidly physical, which is a weird thing for a middle-aged man to admit to but I am. I’ve put my body through a lot. Too much. Sometimes I marvel at the fact that I’m still here.
“Some of them want to be abused.”
I can’t help the want but can curb the need, which is good because I’d be absolutely fucked if I couldn’t.
So, to return to matters at hand: I enjoy this cover, but it is rather lifeless and perfunctory and listless. Ta.
UPDATE! Fun fact! This post was prompted because I had a psychiatrist who prescribed SSIrs to me. I am bipolar, and they knew that. I did not know that prescribing SSRis to someone who is bipolar is like oil and water. That shit lit me the fuck up and exactly what prompted this post and they did not listen to my complaints! It killed my hair — it’s finally getting back to its normal, overly greasy and unbridled self — and did more damage to myself than good, despite my complaints. I was told: “Oh, you’re on a small enough dosage that you won’t suffer withdrawl.” No, that was not the fucking case. I’m still dealing with the fallout.
I’m on non-SSRis now and no longer have to deal with those sort of self-destructive shenanigans. If you’re reading this you probably don’t need this advice but, always, be your own advocate. You know your body. If anyone — anyone — suggests otherwise? Find someone else as soon as you feel that twinge, that ‘Really?’, that ‘Oh, this isn’t going the way I’d hoped.’ feeling. Do not fall prey to the sunk cost fallacy. Cut ties and move along because otherwise it’ll do more harm than good.
This is a very quality live jazz cover of “Tainted Love” but I’ll give you two guesses as to what I don’t like about it, and the first doesn’t count. (My wife immediately sussed it out, if that’s a hint.) Otherwise, it’s hella fun!
BROKEN PEACH are known for their outlandish, specialized Halloween-centric videos, and last year they chose to cover “Tainted Love” and it’s goddamn brilliant. Of all of the videos I’ll be posting in this series, it’s my favorite because it’s so goth.
Most covers of the song submit to being relatively demure, but this? This is all wild-eyes and abandon, and I cannot get enough of it. It has a crazed energy and sensuality and theatrics, and the video is fascinating as it posits the song as folks who are trying to heal (or pleasantly hurt) in a mental hospital.
It’s perfectly choreographed for an indie ensemble video, and the spiral kickdrum is the cherry on the top. It’s a video that leaves me feeling as delightfully exhausted as it appears they are, and what more could you want from that?
Goddamn, it’s perfection. They fucking nailed what they wanted to do in every which way.
As an old-school goth/rivethead, this is my personal favorite cover of “Tainted Love”, possibly because it was on of the earliest covers of “Tainted Love” I heard. It captures the essence while amplifying the percussive aspects, which is all I ever want out of a cover. When I was a DJ, I worked it into my playlist any which way I could, and I never apologized for it.
I know most folks know the covers instead of the original, so I wanted to single out Gloria Jones, as she does not get enough credit for fronting this song. Her vocals come across as percussive whip-snaps, and the orchestration is incredible. Perfectly Motown. It’s her delivery that has made this song a mainstay to cover in the best way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJKe2j9Wjh4
I’ll note that she revisited it in 1976, serving up a huskier, more disco-esque version that, while fun, lacks the verve of the original.
Welcome to “Tainted Love” week! “Tainted Love” is one of those few perfect pop songs that are amazingly specific, but at the same time can be construed in multi-faceted ways; it could be about a bad break-up, or could be about abuse or a traumatic relationship. There’s no wrong way to listen to it!
If you were/are a youth clubbing, this song — in one of its many variations — is an absolute staple. I can’t feature all of the covers — there are so many — but I can pinpoint my favorites, so buckle up!
I know COCAINE BEAR — the “inspired by true events” film — sounds like a straight-to-SyFy production. It is exactly what the title is: it’s about a bear in the woods, jacked up on cocaine, and matters escalate.
However, director Elizabeth Banks — a relentless actor/director — goes for fucking broke with it. The script is whip-smart, it’s perfectly paced, it’s hilarious but also strangely sensitive both in tone, character approach, and its visual approach — it has gore, but it doesn’t luxuriate in it — and oddly it reminds me of both THE GOONIES and ALIEN3. To say why might spoil matters, but: it’s a brilliant combination.
Also, Banks must have called in all of her favors, because this cast — Keri Russel, Ray Liotta, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Margo Martindale, Ayoola Smart! (Also a barely present Matthew Rhys, so they got all of THE AMERICANS!) — would seem to be above what sounds like schlock. (Well, maybe not Ray Liotta [R.I.P.]) However, they all commit and give commanding performances!
This is a small note, but Banks really captures the essence of exploring a forest trail. There were a few shots where I said to myself: “Wow, this unnervingly feels like my backwoods.” (Because of course, having previously lived in Vermont, our backyard was basically one big forest, and also had guideposts and maps and signs to help navigate.)
I went into it expecting the film to be a lark, but I was shocked by how well-executed it was. This is an exceptional genre picture, and I’m slightly upset that there were only three other people in the audience with me — for a 4:20 Friday screening, nonetheless — which indicates … it’s under-appreciated. Hopefully it’ll find its audience in the future, because it deserves proper cult status.
One ding: I really wish they didn’t lean so hard into the “inspired by true events” bit. The events that happen here are outlandish enough that I don’t want to think about them happening to actual folks, and I imagine that there’s a lot of imagination and exaggeration going on. It feels completely unnecessary.
Addendum
The Vic, a Chicago-based music venue, used to host film screenings whenever bands weren’t playing there, sometimes even indulging in triple-screenings that would extend well-beyond midnight. It was called ‘Brew & View’ and I still rave about what I can’t remember about the strangest triple-feature I’ve ever seen screened: THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, LORD OF THE RINGS: TWO TOWERS, and JASON X.
If I had my way, I’d totally delight in screening a triple-feature of this, ROAR, and ALIEN3. But that’s just me.
![THE ROCKABILLY RAVENS – “Tainted Love” [2017]](https://mediaclature.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/rockabilly-tainted-love.jpg)
![BROKEN PEACH – “Tainted Love (Halloween Special)” [2022]](https://mediaclature.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/broken-peach-tainted-love.jpg)
