You might be too young to know that there was a time where your Xbox let you rip your CDs — back when CDs were a thing — and you could play along to any track you could rip.
This was a feature I rarely used* up until BURNOUT 3. When I realized I could go high velocity and slam cars into walls to FRONT 242 and J.G. THIRWELL’s FOETUS. I was all for it.
For what it’s worth, this is the track I’d routinely drive towards:
Yes, it’s J.G. Thirwell’s remix of FRONT 242’s Religion, entitled ‘Religion [Pussy Whippled]’ and yes, it’s age-restrocted. Allegedly, Thirwell doesn’t even remember making this remix, but it’s still one of my favorite reworks of a work, and perfect for crashing into cars.
There were a bunch of other noise tracks in my playlist, probably previously covered via Electroclature but this is the one that is burned into my brain.
I no longer have an Xbox hooked up to my TV because … well, who has one nowadays? I dropped off after the 360 and haven’t looked back.
Fast-forward a few years. BURNOUT PARADISE came out. It was a wild open-world racing game, but still had takedowns, missions where you try to fuck up as many other cars as possible. However? It lacked a personal soundtrack option.
Thankfully? They remastered it with the original soundtrack, which was the fucking best.
When it was ‘Nationali Girlfriend Day,’ someone posted Lavigne and goddamn, I couldn’t help but go back to the well:
…and yes, I lucking loved it.
Then I made sure that it was followed by N.E.R.D. and JUNKIE XL’s remix of the classic SIOUXIE AND THE BANSHEES’s track ‘Cities In Gold’.
For me, this was the best BURNOUT PARADISE experience. I got to race and go head-to-head with a lot of folks, but more importantly? I could take them the fuck down while hearing “Hell yeah, I’m the motherfucking princess” while I’m shunting someone into a higway enclosure and singing along and throwing horns.
It is so satisfying that it feels like it’s criminal. One lilt left or right, and BAM TAKEDOWN and it just happens to coincide with the lilt of someone’s voice, or a kick drum? They knew what they were doing.
- Also, FWIW, I was tops of waaaaay too many BURNOUT PARADISE leaderboards for a while. I fucking love this game and wish Criterion would get back to car battles instead of car races.
- I do want to note that GTA1 also allowed this, and I abused the hell out of if on PC. They probably would have more goodwill if they’d persisted, but fewer $$ in their coffers.